I was addicted and I was afflicted

I was addicted and I was afflicted. 

I heard voices and I heard noises.

I felt evil all around me just clowning me.  

Whispers saying "Devil", Satan had a hold of me telling me Jesus was make believe and wouldn't come rescue me.  

Other times voices told me Jesus tricked me. Instead of being with Him in paradise the voices told me "pair-of-dice".  The evil one played a lot of trickery and scared the faith out of me.  

I no longer could see.  At times I didn't want to see.  I just wanted to be free. No, I am not exaggerating any of this.  Time and time again I just could not resist.  All I could do was clench my sweaty fists.  I denied Jesus t from me, giving me no length.  

Every evil attempt threw my soul in the pit.  Sometimes all I could do was sit.  Confusion of who Jesus really was tormented me day and night.  I had lost sight. I no longer could fight. I didn't know left from right. Then one day my dear friend came to me and said "Jesus loves you and so do I."

I wanted to believe him and slightly I did try. I couldn't get my hopes up though. My mind had been tossed to and fro. Trust was something that seemed as if it couldn't grow.  Later that night, as a needle was pricking my skin filling my veins with sin, the words "Never forsake your Lord" were spoke to me by the person injecting me, ironically I know. Little did either one of these guys know, my soul was in the grave, I thought I no longer could be saved.  

After this, my attention was caught, I started to seek and it was our Lord Jesus Christ that I sought.  I had sought Him before, but never like this. There was something before I use to always miss. I was to seek Him with my whole mind, and my whole heart, and my whole soul and trust just like this too. I never really knew.  I thought death had took its toll, but Jesus played his role.  

I finally realized this to be true and didn't let fear consume. All along I had been missing the mark.  I had been played by a pool shark.  The voices would always tell me it would be okay to do this or that. They were wrong, I had to turn from sins and repent. I had to run away from evil. The voices would always tell me it was okay to stay. In fact, they would tell me I was wrong for leaving at times. I listened to their chimes. I had to flee from my wicked ways and that place.  

When I finally recognized God's voice and only answered to Him and turned from my sin is when my life began. I finally realized I couldn't do drugs and decided once again to quit. This time was different. This time was serious. This time I had real strength. The voices tried to get me back and even attempted a few attacks. I went to revisit the place thinking I could still hold on to my life.  I was tormented again day and night.  I had to constantly pray The Lord’s prayer and repeat scripture throughout the whole night. Every hour on the hour. Satan really does lurk around trying to devour. The Lord heard my cry though and delivered me so. 

I ran from that sinful life full of struggle and strife and finally let go. I let go and let God. I have always believed in Jesus Christ since I was child. Never have I gave my life to Him though. So that's what I did. He delivered me from the evil one, from which my soul was in hell. In the pit I had fell. Now I live to tell. 

Since then I have had no withdrawal symptoms. I have no symptoms from my previous diagnosis of bipolar psychosis. I do still have trouble sleeping at night and cravings hit me very often, but I just pray and stay into His word. I thank Jesus every day and go to church twice a week to worship and praise Him. I study His word and tell others about him and He guides me to help me live a clean life and to become more like Him.  

He turned the mess I made of my life into a message for Him. Praise and glory be to Him. The Prince of Peace. Wonderful Counselor. King of kings Lord of lords. How mighty and good He is. I denied him, did every drug you could think of-snort, smoke, inject, drink, you name it. From pills, to heroin, meth, bath salt, drinking, acid trips, ecstasy, --He delivered me from every bit of it. Now Jesus is my necessity. Physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse from a toxic marriage- He delivered me from that too.  

I no longer feel like I am on a bad trip. Sexual sin and jealousy, anger, resentment- He delivered me from that too. Peace and Joy within my heart He gave me as a replacement. Did I mention He forgave me for every single sin I ever lived in? Yes, He did that too.  He can do it for you too.

I am alive and I am free who wouldn't want to be me? Jesus Christ saved me.